On a very happy note, the Alaska Airlines representative I've been discussing my plight with finally wrote back to say that, in fact, I shouldn't have been charged and what I need to do is send them back the tickets via certified mail so that they could process the refund.

It has restored my faith in the company, and really...I do love Alaska Airlines. Their service is most often exceptional and most of the employees I've ever dealt with have been absolutely stellar, and more than stellar in an absolutely kind and thoughtful human sort of way.

The only airline I've flown with better service is JAL, and JAL is off the scale for the most part. Half the time I leave JAL planes and counter lines with the opinion that JAL economy class service is often superior to most domestic airlines' business and first class service.

ANA runs a close second, but JAL is probably my all time favorite.

I've just woken up from a small nap and I feel better but still mighty gross. My voice is back, sort of, my fever seems to have broken, and my head hurts only 1/3 as much as it did when I fell asleep.

It's getting better all the time. Back to life, death, taxes, and probate.

Ok. Not that bad really, but my ears are exploding, my throat is burning, my nose is dripping, my lymph nodes are swelling, and my head is throbbing...and I can't sleep. I've tried and tried and I. just. can't. sleep.

It's not quite the flu, but it's not a fun, happy time either.

What else is newsy you may be asking?
I had an appointment with an endodontist the other day because a couple of teeth have been bothering me a little.
One of them already has a root canal (from a minor run-in with a king crab leg).
This is a tooth that sort of aches a little on and off, and also one around which an abysmal infection once took off and almost ate my head from.
The least likely thing is a deep-rooted infection, but there aren't really any signs of infection.
The most likely thing is I've been clenching my teeth and it's slightly irritated and aching as a result.
The possibly likely thing is the root, itself is cracked.
In order to find out if the root is cracked they'd have to take the crown off (destroying it in the process), take out all the packed in material from the (evidently complicated) root canal, and have a look-see.
Total cost, $155 for the first visit, $155 + $155 + $1475.00 for the procedure, 2-3 more visits to my regular dentist & a crown...which would prolly be around $800.
to which I say, "BWAHHHHHHHH HAAAHAHHHAAHHAHAAAAAA"

The other tooth bothering me is actually cracked and I need to get to my dentist to take out the filling, see what kind of crack it is and very most probably get a crown.
That'd be the priority to me, but the endodontist was making the root canal tooth the big priority.
Ostensibly he was concerned about possible serious damage to the tooth (if the root is cracked), and also expressed concern over the amount of pain I was living with...but still.

I was rather glum when I got the news and walked out of the office.

Whew. I think I am finally tired enough to sleep a bit before rehearsal today.

So I went to check in online for a flight on United shortly before dashing to the airport.
The online check-in utility had little *red flag* notice that said my flight was going to be delayed and I was going to miss my connection.
I called the Premiere Executive reservations line and asked if I could be re-routed.
The reservations agent was great. She contacted Alaska Airlines, they agreed to take me on their next flight, I was given the schedule and PNR and I jammed off to the airport.
I get to the Alaska Airlines counter and the agent there find me in the system but then say I need to go to the United counter to get a paper ticket, but then they said they would be able to print that ticket up there if they had the ticket number.
They called United. I called United. I got through first. The reservations agent on the line gave them the info they needed, they printed e up a ticket and I went on my way.

Luckilyfor me I had SSSS on the bottom of my boarding pass (kidding).
This means I got the bonus, extra-thorough security screening.
By the time I got to the gate the end of the line of people boarding was making its way through the gate.
I stopped at the counter to check and see if I would be getting miles for the flight, and everything was copacetic.
I get to the gate and mention that the front counter folks said to be sure he fgot the coupons so that Alaska could be reimbursed.
He then proceeds to tell me he can't take them, the other gate gent comes up and says, "She's on a rule 20."
He says, "we don't take those any more."
He clears my flight from the system, tells me to treat my tickets as cash since now I have been issued paper tickets my flight record is no longer in the system, and then he says he can't let me on the plane.
I end up having to buy a ticket to board.

At one time, many moons ago, there was a Federal Rule 240 which stated a passenger subject to a more than 2-hour delay should be rebooked, and an airline that couldn't get a pasenger to their destination in a timely fashion using their own flights would rebook a passenger on any other airline that would agree to take them.
There was a lot of different companies and folks working together to get people to their destinations, but airlines sometimes lost a chunk of money reimbursing each other for those rebookings, as occasionally the only seats open were in first class (and so on).
Deregulation happened and Rule 240 was replaced by SIPP 120.20, a much less stringent code that gives a provision for an accepting airline to be credited for the amount of fare paid on the original airline, but many of the airlines kept Rule 240 language in their "contracts of carriage" (in many case designating the provision under 240).

Please note that BOTH United and Alaska have this provision in their contracts of carriage.

When a schedule anomaly happens, getting re-booked is now more at the airlines' discretion, there are fewer instances where passengers are re-booked on competitor's flights, and the whole rebooking to any available seat on a competitor's flight (including first class) is pretty well history.
Still, airlines occasionally can and do re-book folks to help them make their connections and get on their way, and they even work together to do it.

I fly both United and Alaska fairly regularly, more on United, to be sure, but Alaska quite a bit. I am a known shipper with Alaska Air Cargo and transport equipment with them maybe once a year. I have an Alaska Airlines visa. We booked the last Shidara tour on Alaska (especially for the flights to, from, and around Alaska).
I give Alaska a reasonable amount of business and I actually like the company. They kept feeding folks and offering a better selection of beverages long after most other airlines stopped feeding passengers. They usually go out of their way and provide exceptional customer service.

Except for me, this one time.

...and I dunno why, but I'm really peeved about it.

In contacting their customer service department about it, I got a reasonably decent apology and a $75 flight credit for my trouble.
Normally I wouldn't have taken it any farther than that.
I am not big on confrontation.

But this time. Idunno. I just don't think Alaska is living up to its image or standards, and on some level I don't think it's fair.

During my exchange with customer service, the customer service rep brought up the fact that I didn't have a paper ticket when I got to the gate, ergo they didn't have to take me.

...and about that. I thought the gate agents were providing exemplary service by going out of their way to help me , the very kind of service I tend to expect from Alaska, and so in fact I did have a paper ticket.

That's the part that cheeses me off the most, I guess.

I don't know why, but I am not satisfied, so I basically asked for my money back...and not even all of it, since I had been given a $75 credit. I just wanted the balance I paid above and beyond that, and given I have this $75 credit and have cause to travel to the same destination in the not too distant future, I pretty well figure I would be using the funds to buy an actual ticket, so they'd be getting the $ back and all it would have really cost them was a bit of time, a few slips of paper they printed, and whatever amount of fuel it took to have me on the planes that were (both not full, did I mention, and) flying anyway.

I prolly would have been satisfied with a few measly FF miles...but for now the plan is to ask for a full refund and take them to Small Claims Court if I don't get one.
And maybe I'll blog more and start posting on travel related sites for good measure.

It'll cost me an extra $30 and a bit of time and I may not win, but this time I'm just not gonna settle for something I think is just unfair.

Dunno, maybe this all stems from the stupid Aeroflot gate agent extorting $100 from me to get the boarding pass he'd already printed up with my name on it on their oversold (and very delayed) flight to Moskva.
I could see the boarding pass already printed up when I got to the gate, but he wouldn't give me the ticket because it was a business class ticket.
It was either pay or don't fly.
I paid, and boy was it well worth it in the long run (there were 5 different complimentary wines to choose from, caviar, smoked salmon, a decent in-flight meal, and cool egg-shaped fancy 2001-y space-age seats in a mostly empty basically first class cabin with the economy class jam-packed and kinda nutty), but still...it's the PRINCIPLE.

gah.

I was helping my grandmother with her bills and we used up all of the forever stamps she had, so I popped into the post office the other day to get her some more.
While I was in the post office, I admit to going a bit crazy with the stamps.
My version of going postal... heh

I got a sheet of Eid stamps. I love the Eid stamps, even though I don't celebrate Eid.
They're a beautiful blue color with gold Arabic script, and I just think they're darn pretty.

I also got a sheet of Albert Bierstadt stamps, which portray a landscape painting that while not actually seasonal are at least orange-y enough to evoke in my brain a sense of "Fall" and leaves turning.

I did get a sheet of forever stamps, too because I know my grandmother will balk if she doesn't get them, because you just never know when the cost of postage is gonna go up again.

Lastly, I got a sheet of stamps from the Nature in America series titled "Great Lakes Dunes" and it wasn't until I checked the reference info on the back of the sheet that I discovered that one of the stamps actually features Petoskey stones. I kinda get a kick out of that fact. Aside from these bits of fossilized corals, there are other stamps featuring a variety of plants, insects and animals. This includes but is not limited to the Hairy Puccoon, an Antlion larva, a piping plover and some piping plover nestlings, and a very cute white-footed mouse.

Oh. There's an Eastern Hognose Snake, too.

I actually mostly use stamps for correspondence and not bill remittance, so I usually don't need a lot of stamps, but then I often buy a lot of stamps and figure that it might give me the incentive to write more. This strategy has limited success.
My guess is I will probably misplace half of these stamps until some time shortly after the next postal fee increase.

I am eating a bowl of campbell's vegetable soup with an egg mixed in. It's not the best egg-drop soup I've ever made or had, but I wanted the soup and I wanted the protein.
It's a bit late to be eating, I realize, but I also wanted some comfort food.
This whole week is about comfort food.
I haven't consumed this much processed food in a good long while.
My body is saying *bleaaaargh!* but my soul is assuaged.
I think tomorrow I am gonna shoot for a salad.

My life is full of several big headaches, figuratively speaking, but what I am referring to is a very literal headache.
This is odd for me because I don't usually get headaches unless I'm about to come down with something like the flu.
I don't feel flu-ish.

It might be a tooth that has been acting up of late, and for sure it's time to go see my dentist.

Then, too, I spent the majority of the morning trying to take care of business-related stuff for my dad's company, and the better part of the afternoon sitting down with my grandmother and helping her with her her bills and banking and a few other errands.
That could be the source of my headache, too -- as if all the thoughts in my head were in a virtual mosh pit and slamming into each other and the insides of my cranium.

Now we are living it.

This is the opening line to the recitation of the Three Treasures of Jodo Shin Buddhism, or at least it used to be.

I went to O-Bon the other day. At O-Bon my sisters (on my mom's side) and I reflected that my dad had been at O-Bon last year.

I tried to lose myself in the drumming and the dancing, and did a reasonably good job of that.

I attended the Hatsu-Bon service the following day, and lo and behold, the intro to the Three Treasures has been updated to read. "Fortunate it is to be born into human life."

That's a very different perspective.

I've never been all that thrilled with the practice of Jodo Shin Buddhism, to be honest it just seems incongruent with the texts and teachings (at least the way I have it all framed out in my head), and somewhat at odds with the whole concept of non-attachment, which is a fairly critical concept where Buddhism is concernted.

Christianity is the same way, I guess. The way the religion is practiced doesn't always reflect the life or teachings of Christ.

The whole concept of non-attachment is nagging at me as I reflect upon the events leading up to my father's death last year.

I had this odd pang of really wanting to go with my dad to Las Vegas as I was dropping him off at the airport, and then I reassured myself there would be the time some time in the future to go with him on trips like that one.
He'd only just turned 63 a couple of weeks before.
How was I supposed to know he wouldn't be coming back?

What is the nature of the pain I am feeling?
I've got a lot of stuff rambling through my head.

I believe in a persisting, eternal spirit, and in that case I think the essence of him is still around somewhere in some form, but I have no tangible sense of awareness of his spirit existing in any cohesive fashion.
I figure a part of what I miss is the experience of his spirit as manifested in his living body while he was here, but if the spirit is eternal and he's bothering to come around now and again if he's able, then, I shouldn't miss it all that much.
Of course I'd have to be aware that it was happening when it was happening, and I'm not, particulalrly, though other psychic friends say he's around on occasion.
The rest of it is attachment to ideas and perhaps even a sense of security...which was more the illusion of a sense of security in a lot of ways.
Now that he's no longer here, it's harder to maintain that illusion, and certainly his passing was a huge reminder of the illusion of security to begin with.

Why is there physical pain associated with it? Why does my chest ache?
That is a physiological manifestation of a series of thoughts in my head and the effect the neurochemistry has on my biochemistry.
What part of it is energetic...the energy that is consciousness...the energy that is the soul that I am choosing to believe persists outside of human, physical existence.

Is it a matter of focus, and discipline? Is missing him and grieving him a matter of choice around not focusing on all the benefits of having had him around when he was?
Of getting the chance to know him in a more tangible form?

My sense of things is my brain and my body are limited to this very physical plane of existence where I accept the rules of the system to be a part of and function within the system.

To a certain extent it means I have to place arbitrary limitations on myself in order to exist.
I have to accept things like karma...cause and effect and linear time...in order to manifest in a tangible fashion in a place where things appear to me to be tangible instead of just generally cohesive.

The way I understand it from a fundamental Buddhist perspective (and it may not be the way it actually is, but is the way it makes sense in my head) is that it's all an illusion, anyway...the spirit itself is limitless. Time is limitless. Energy is limitless.

I can conceptualize all of that but I do not have the ability or practical experience of the state of actually fundamentally knowing it.
It's not real to me. It's a concept I think I understand.
My guess is the point it becomes real is at the moment of enlightenment.

What I also don't understand is why, which requires much more pondering on the nature of consciousness among other things.

Is each lifetime an attempt to achieve this enlightened state of just being, and is that state perfection or entropy?

Meanwhile I have to deal with the practical realities of existing.

I just need to make it past the 16th.

It won't be over, but the first year will have passed and maybe I will be able to let go a little more.
I like milestones.

Meanwhile I'll be pondering the concepts of pratitya samutpada and tathata and trying to make my way along the Middle Path.

:::link removed::: because it's dead

this is a friend's brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law.
her parent's home burned down recently and they don't have a lot of money for a wedding
then again, who does?
still, my friend would greatly appreciate it if you could cast a vote (or a few hundred) for his brother (you can vote every 12 minutes).
**addendum**
I've been asked to remove this post, but it's been up here long enough and already brought up to (and even linked in a phpBB site for) the attention of anyone who might have legitimate cause to take offense.

I'm generally peeved enough about the whole thing that I don't particularly care to take it down at this point.

Had to stop and sleep. Homeward bound after business meetings and a quick stop in LV to see Ka. At a Super8 in Barstow and my laptop power cord just died.
This is not my year where gadgets and gadgetry are concerned.
My phone died on tour in AK, and now the AC cord. That'll be a nice chunk of change I woud prefer not to spend, but I am no good at splicing coaxial cable and have no idea where my soldering iron got off to.
Honestly, I haven't seen it since the 8th grade.
I am guessing I did well enough in Electronics class I could follow the online directions and fix the dang thing without electrocuting myself somewhere in the process (or getting a solder/flux burn), but why chance the overall safety of my PC? It would not be a good thing to lose my hard drive to a minor short in the power cord.
Yet more proof I am only a pseudo geek.

I am signed in through a server and browser that "assume" I am japanese so I am looking at the japanese version of the control menu and I know a few kanji and it's similar enough that I can guess which tabs to click on...but not quite well enough to be sure.

heh.
all this on a japanese keyboard, too...
there's an accomplishment for the day.

I just finished clearing out another 1000+ spam emails from my inbox, navigated away to look something up and then popped back and already there were another 10 new spam emails. I started watching the inbox and now know that in a slow period I seem to average 1 spam email every 1-5 minutes, but they also occasionally come in huge waves.
This is disgusting enough.
The harder thing was having to deal with spam from the online bio/condolences site a friend had helped me set up shortly after my dad had passed away.
Meanwhile I am still attempting to cope with all of that and all the logistics that have arisen in the aftermath while trying to not put my life on hold too much.

Here's the deal.
Right now I don't have anything to give. I don't care what you want, what you'd like or what you need from me.
Except I do...and...I recognize that, to a certain extent, people feel bad and all about my loss and whatnot, but on other levels it really doesn't matter at all, because life goes on and stuff still needs to get done...and ultimately people don't care all that much on some levels what my problems are because they've got problems of their own.

I feel bad for the things I have failed to do or am falling behind on and so forth.
Except I also don't care, because it all seems so very trivial in light of other recent events.

ningen.
human nature.

This is me cracking.
This is me going absolutely nuts.
Take care of it yourself and leave me the #*@% alone.

That while he was on his way to the airport to come home today my dad suffered a massive coronary...heart attack...and...died.

So things in my life are going to be a little bit crazy and hectic and bad for a while.

Sacramento Metropolitan Field is now Sacramento International Airport, which may explain why Danny Bonaduce was standing outside the airport terminal this afternoon when I was dropping my Dad off in front of the same terminal.

Or it may not provide sufficient explanation.

All I know is I looked up and said, "Hey. There's Danny Bonaduce."
My Dad looked up and said, "Hey. You're right. It is Danny Bonaduce. You should go ask for his autograph."
But even if it was him, I don't think I'd want his autograph. I never much liked the character of Danny Partridge, not that serial television shows are the greatest venue for most young actors to show their breadth and depth of character and acting abilities.
And the funny thing is, I am the type to ask someone for their autograph...but shoot. It's 93 degrees outside and he's stuck outside waiting...and I know what that's like. That's a pain...and the last thing I need floating around the house is another slip of paper with a signature on it.

I used to have Sammy Davis Jr.'s autograph. It's in the copy of a book titled "The Nisei" (which was the only thing other than a napkin we had at the time suitable for writing on).
If you, gentle reader, are reading this and you're out there somewhere and you have this book...it's mine!!!
heh.
My parents lent the book to a friend and...funny thing!...it was never returned. Imagine that.
I also had Doris Day's autograph.
I wouldn't want to find that one, either, I don't think, even though I hear she hardly ever signed them and it must be worth something given that fact.
Actually...I think that may have been on a napkin.

Probably the best autograph I have and am still in possession of is Mel Brooks' - and it's on a program from "The Producers" run in Chicago.
He thought we were freaks and wanted to know how we'd gotten backstage (long story), but he deigned to sign our programs all the same.
That felt good, mostly because I'd grown up on a steady stream of Mel Brooks' movies, and his cameo with Marlo Thomas on the "Free To Be You & Me" album, I a part of me thinks it made a difference in the formation of my character and sense of humour.

But really, any more...I prefer collecting handshakes. I've gotten some really good ones, too.
No proof of them...and some I can't even remember unless I think hard about who, what, where and when.

Anyway, my current favorite thing about SMF right now is the little Air Canada sign hanging up at Terminal A, and the fact that there are direct flights to Vancouver from here...even if I can't quite afford to take them right now. At least it's theoretically possible.

I was having a reasonably nice dream about my step-mom and I getting a chance to connect, and I woke up to my legs aching and my cat having moved from the spot she'd been sleeping in next to my head.
I rubbed my hip flexors a tiny bit and then felt something scurry across my neck.

I brushed it away with all due haste. There was a small chance it might be a moth, but it felt a bit too much like a spider, which in fact it turned out be.
With a smallish thorax and a leg-span making it about as big as a quarter, this wolf spider was quickly spotted crawling up the wall.
I caught it in a plastic produce bag and tossed it on the porch.
I am hoping it doesn't make its way back inside, and I'm glad none of us got hurt.

Thankfully, my day hasn't been quite as bad as this baby's.
This is way better than most Nat'l Geo footage I've seen in my lifetime.
raw. fierce. cool. Plus...a relatively happy ending.
At least I think it's a happy ending.
The lions might not agree.

So I made a point of turning to my cat, who was being particularly bratty, and saying, "Your team lost."
So my question is...as it unfolded...who did you root for and why?
My prejudice, of course was to believe the lions would win. Had this been scripted I think the crocs would have been overkill...but it was just the vagaries of nature...and then it was interesting to me that the people had given up hope...("it's too late")...and then it was awesome to see the bulls have at...and the power of the herd.
Then I had to wonder if the calf actually survived the mauling in the long run, and also had to wonder if any of the cats were seriously injured, as well.
Pretty captivating, all in all.

I am at one of those points in my life where I am having to redefine so much I am a little bit ahead of who I am. I mean to say the demands are such I keep moving, doing and going but it's a projection of myself doing things, more based on who I was or who I think I am rather than who I am, so I end up feeling quite a bit lost and out of touch a great deal of the time.
It's not so bad and sort of adventurous. I get to go through life with fewer preconceived notions for a bit...blithely, in some regards...so long as I just go with it and don't panic.

I am back to the idea that it's more a frame of reference than a state of being...that the only difference is my opinion of what it is I am perceiving because things aren't so radically different.
I am a great advocate accepting things being not comfortable...of recognizing that a great bit of the time people are simply not feeling safe and comfortable and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Life is miserable when you fight that particular notion and a good deal more bearable when one looks at unease with a sense of acceptance and with a mind to strategizing around how to make the best of it as things happen...

Oh hell...having a zen moment.
It's Japanese in a shikata ga nai way...but shikata ga aru. It can be helped to some degree. Stuff happens and it just happens and I just respond as best I can.
Control is an illusion. There is just experiencing, doing and reacting and trying to set things up so they have a greater probability of going well, but there's no real way to predict or totally control an event or outcome...then what matters is who you are and the attitude with which you are approaching it all.
It's so much easier to take a negative view of things...to worry and to freak out.
Harder but so much more fun to see things with a sense of adventure and delight...to be a sort of opportunist.

I think that's what I am, more so than being a positive thinker. I am just trying to make the best of things because I want to get through and get by and change my fortunes for the better if I can find a way...and there is usually a way so long as I can keep my wits about me.

better stop before I meander to far.

Doris Day moment...que sera, sera.

I just grilled one pound of organic, grass-fed, free range boneless rib-eye.
Even though it ended up being slightly overdone, it was tender and juicy and flavorful.
We also had milk.

It was all very, very tasty.

Afterward we steamed some broccoli to round out the meal.

I had been cleaning up just a tiny little bit in the backyard and I discovered we still had a small weber back there. I told K-OS if she cleaned the grill I would buy steaks.
The grill was cleaned not 5 minutes later...maybe even 3...so we headed out a' hunting 'n gathering.

The funny thing was at the market we procured these hunks o' cow, they have their own aging racks, visible from behind the counter.
Those were some fairly chunky slabs of very 'wow-this-was-recently-a-very-large-live-animal' bits. In fact they were very startling in their proportions, and I must admit to being both fascinated and a bit squicked.

If I had to slaughter my own cows, I might be deterred from eating beef for a while, but I don't have many compunctions against locally grazed, small farm operations...and I can scarce have any objections to cattle ranching, generally, given other of my lifestyle choices.
There's the fact that I like and wear leather, and lots of it, not to mention we use a lot of rawhide cowhide in our profession.
Wouldn't be right to use some bits and not as much of the others as possible.

Yes...I am eating something with a face...with a certain amount of consciousness, but I also live within an ecosystem where other things with faces would be just as happy to eat me.

I have a real sense of respect for all living things, to the degree that I feel almost as 'bad' eating broccoli as cow. Plants don't have brains or faces, but they are alive and also part of the system...and kirlian shots show coronae of energy...they are alive, they react to stimuli....who am I to judge...a la more things than are dreamt of in my own philosophy...so I eat what I can...enjoy what I can...and try to do it all in as balanced and responsible way as I can...and I feel blessed, really.

That was a damned tasty steak.

Last night I started pushing sports drinks and today I saw my DC.
the sports drinks seemed to help some and the visit to the DC made a huge significant difference.
My neck was a piece of work, vertebral bits going every which way, especially L1 & L2. These have recently been confirmed as having an effect on things like sense of balance.
Anecdotally speaking, I'd have to agree there's a bit of correlating going on there.
I'm a good 75% better off than I was last night. I can even lay down on my back without getting so spinny I wanna toss my cookies.
I'm still a wee bit unsteady, but for all in tents or porpoises, consider me unspun.

Thanks for your support and virtual hugs and all around thoughfulness and your continued friendship...especially while I'm just nattering on about all the oogy-ness.

There's this whole beautiful desert out there, wild and beautiful and very cool...and I am not out hiking in it...partly because the weather is kind of oogy and partly because the probability of my getting lost out there is very high.
I can orienteer fairly well. I can do those maze things.
Otherwise I have no sense of direction, much at all, and all landmarks sort of kind of look the same in my head after a while.
That's why I am here posting and not out there hiking.

mottainai.

Looks like snow...again...so we are delaying my departure from Moab...again.
It's all deja vu-y.
Not like it's any great hardship to be stuck in Moab, like getting stuck in Salt Lake or Elko or Reno would be, and that's really less of a hardship and more of a pain-in-the-posterior.

There seems to be a window of clearer weather Saturday through Sunday, so we are plotting our getaway for tomorrow.

70% chance of thunderstorms here tonight, so I will likely be offline later in the evening, but it should be a bit of fun. I like T-storms.
Meanwhile the Po in Italy is drying up and Germany's last glacier is melting.

These are interesting times.